Thank you to Labyrinthos’ Golden Tarot Deck for getting me started 🙂
The rain clouds are here once more 🌧
I’ve decided to accept the reality of my being—for now, at least. Right now, I’m just one of countless med students struggling to cope with sleep deprivation and academics. I’m one of the countless students who are not sure if they should leave the profession. I’m one of countless lost souls trying to figure out if they like what they’re doing.
Nonetheless, I’ve decided to have a positive outlook for now and just recognize how lucky I am that I’m still here. I know a lot would kill for where I am.
I will strive to remain #hearthappy until I can no longer bear it.
I’ve been listless the past couple of weeks, and no matter what I do, I just can’t get back to the groove of being a med student.
Over Christmas break, I took a week to travel to Siem Reap and Phnom Penh in Cambodia, and to Saigon in Vietnam. I thought that a vacation was just the thing I needed to set my mind straight on focusing on med school, but I think I was mistaken.
Over that week, I met people who showed me that it was possible to put your life on pause and travel the world to gain perspective. And if it’s one thing I’m sure I’m missing, it’s that. Perspective.
This piece is very spur of the moment, and so I’m not sure if I really want to expound on that bit. Maybe a part of me is afraid that if I explore that thought, I won’t be able to follow through on my commitment to be a doctor. And maybe the fact that I was able to write that just now tells me something that I’m not quite sure I’m ready to admit—to myself and to the world.
I was searching for When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi for about a month now, since one of my professors gave us a short but sweet excerpt to read for class. Last night, I finally found a copy at Fully Booked Greenhills.
Then, I went online to look for more books that I can queue up for when I have more money. I found all kinds of pre-loved books on sale online and I felt like all I had to do was wait until I had more money (way easier said than done) before all those treasures I coveted would finally be mine.
Lastly, just to be sure I had space for my new buys, I went around my bookshelves in the house — and lo and behold, found more than 10 books still waiting to be read!!!
I therefore conclude that I am trash for books and now I can’t figure out how to read all of these before classes start up again. 😭😭😭
If anything, though, I suspect that the next month would be anything but boring for me. 😍📚